How To Deal With Living With An Alcoholic

Understanding Alcoholism

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a chronic condition where a person struggles to control their drinking despite negative consequences. It can range from mild to severe and often involves periods of binge drinking, withdrawal symptoms, and failed attempts to stop drinking.

Alcoholism is more than just excessive drinking—it’s a medical condition. Like many other substance use disorders, it affects brain chemistry, behavior, and judgment. Those with alcohol dependency may not realize how their actions affect their loved ones.

Common symptoms of alcoholism include:

• Drinking more or longer than intended
• Failed attempts to stop drinking
• Withdrawal symptoms when not drinking
• Neglecting responsibilities at home or work
• Continued alcohol use despite harmful consequences

What is the Impact of Alcoholism on Families?

The impact of alcoholism affects families deeply. The alcoholic spouse or family member’s behavior can cause emotional pain, financial strain, and long-term psychological effects on loved ones. Substance use disorders like AUD are often called “family diseases” because the entire family unit suffers from the consequences.

Challenges of Living with an Alcoholic

Living with an alcoholic presents numerous challenges that can disrupt family harmony and individual well-being:

Emotional Strain

Family members often live in a state of anxiety and uncertainty. They may fear violent outbursts or unpredictable behavior from the alcoholic spouse or parent. This constant tension creates a fragile home environment where no one feels safe.

Damaged Relationships

Alcohol misuse damages trust. The alcoholic may lie, minimize the alcohol problem, or blame others. This breakdown in communication leads to resentment and emotional distance among family members, including spouses and children.

Neglect and Abuse

Physical and emotional neglect is common. The alcoholic’s focus on drinking often means they fail to meet family responsibilities. Children may experience neglect, leading to developmental and emotional issues.

Financial Hardship

Sustaining an alcohol dependency is expensive. Money that should cover essentials like food, housing, and education is often spent on alcohol. This financial strain exacerbates stress and can lead to unemployment, creating a vicious cycle.

Impact on Children

Children growing up with alcoholic parents face higher risks of anxiety, depression, and behavioral disorders. They may also develop substance use disorders themselves due to genetic and environmental factors.

Can Living with an Alcoholic Cause Depression?

Yes, living with an alcoholic can cause depression among family members. The constant emotional turmoil, unpredictability, and neglect create an environment ripe for depressive symptoms to develop.

• Chronic Stress: The ongoing stress of managing an alcoholic spouse or parent can lead to feelings of helplessness and despair. Family members may experience sadness, low self-esteem, and isolation, all common signs of depression.
• Emotional Abuse and Guilt: Family members, especially children, may blame themselves for the alcoholic’s behavior, leading to overwhelming guilt and emotional trauma. This internalized pain can trigger or worsen depression.
• Co-occurring Disorders: Depression and alcohol use disorder often co-exist. The alcoholic may drink to self-medicate depressive symptoms, while family members suffer from the emotional fallout, increasing their risk of mental health disorders, including anxiety and depression.
• Long-Term Effects: The emotional scars from living with an alcoholic can persist into adulthood, affecting relationships and mental health long-term.

How To Deal With Living With an Alcoholic

While living with an alcoholic is challenging, family members can take steps to protect their well-being and foster healthier relationships.

Set Clear Boundaries

Establish rules about acceptable behavior, such as no alcohol in the home or no abusive language. Avoid enabling behaviors like covering up for the alcoholic or providing money that may be used to drink. Be prepared to enforce consequences if boundaries are crossed.

Seek Support Groups

Joining support groups such as Al-Anon can provide emotional support and practical advice from others facing similar challenges. Support groups help family members understand alcoholism and learn coping mechanisms.

Prioritize Self-Care

Engage in activities that promote mental and physical health. Maintain friendships and social connections outside the family unit. Consider professional counseling to manage anxiety and depression caused by living with an alcoholic.

Encourage Treatment Options

Encourage the alcoholic spouse or family member to seek professional help. Treatment options include detoxification (to manage withdrawal symptoms), inpatient rehab, outpatient therapy, and medication-assisted treatment. Understand that while you can encourage treatment, the decision to stop drinking ultimately lies with the alcoholic.

Ensure Safety

If the alcoholic spouse or family member drinks heavily and becomes violent, prioritize your safety and that of children. Have a safety plan and know when to seek help from authorities or shelters. Your safety plan might include:

• A list of emergency contacts
• A packed bag and an escape plan
• Secure documents, money, and essentials
• Knowing where you can stay short- or long-term

If you’re experiencing abuse, contact a domestic violence hotline or local shelter. Don’t wait for the situation to get worse.

When to Seek Professional Help

Professional help is essential when the alcohol problem severely affects family functioning or safety. Signs include:

• Frequent withdrawal symptoms or severe physical dependence.
• Domestic violence or abuse.
• Severe depression or suicidal thoughts among family members.
• Children showing signs of trauma or behavioral disorders.

Family therapy can help address the complex dynamics caused by alcoholism and support recovery for all members.

Choosing to leave an alcoholic spouse or partner is a difficult decision. If your mental or physical health is suffering and the person refuses help, it may be the best option. Many support groups exist to help you cope, connect, and find healing. Recommended resources include:

• Al-Anon: For those affected by someone else’s drinking
• Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA): For those raised by alcoholic parents
• SMART Recovery Family & Friends: A science-based alternative to 12-step programs
• Therapy: Both individual and family therapy can help navigate the complex emotions and decisions

Treatment for Alcohol Use Disorder

Living with an alcoholic spouse or family member is a long-term challenge that can cause emotional pain, depression, and financial hardship. Alcoholism affects not only the individual but also friends and family who live with the consequences of alcohol misuse.

Understanding these challenges and seeking support through groups like Al-Anon and professional treatment options, such as:

• Detox programs for managing withdrawal symptoms
• Inpatient rehab for structured recovery
• Outpatient therapy for ongoing support
• Medication to reduce cravings and withdrawal effects
• Behavioral counseling to address patterns and triggers

Whether you choose to stay, create space, or leave, remember this: your health matters too. You deserve safety, peace, and support.

If you or someone you know is living with an alcoholic and needs help, our Scottsdale-based addiction treatment facilities are available 24/7 for you. Equipped with quality care, our addiction specialists can provide assessment and personalized treatment for those struggling with alcohol addiction.

Recovery and healing are possible. Reach out today and begin your path to lasting sobriety.